Today, 34 weeks, is a big milestone in my pregnancy.
When I went to visit my OB more than two years ago to make sure that trying for another baby wasn't the stupidest idea she had ever heard, she confirmed that she thought it was reasonable that I could make it to 34 weeks. This became the goal, even before I was even ready to embark on the journey to try to become pregnant.
When I got pregnant last summer, she again reiterated that the goal was to get me to 34 weeks. Today I breathe a sigh of relief (while still maintaining a reasonable level of fear of the unknown). I still have dreams and hopes of making it to 36 or 37 weeks, but I will take it day by day, blood pressure measurement by blood pressure measurement, and appointment by appointment.
It's been several weeks since I posted, so let me do a quick re-cap. When I last wrote, I was worried about an upcoming ultrasound and MRI for a small head measurement from my 28 week growth scan. Two weeks ago I had my follow up appointment and good news...the head size caught up to the rest of the body. All the measurements were around a week to a week and a half small. The doctor that I saw that day didn't see a need to do the MRI, but recommended that I come back in two weeks for a follow up growth scan to see how things were progressing. I asked the coordinator to put a hold on an MRI appointment for the follow up scan just in case, but my husband and I were breathing easy.
This past Wednesday was that follow up appointment. I guess the fun never really ends. On the growth scan, the baby continued to trend smaller, with all measurements except for the abdomen measuring consistently small by about a week and a half or so. Fluid is trending lower, but still within the normal range. The abdomen, on the other hand, measured perfectly average at 60+%. This doctor, the same one who I had seen at 28 weeks, was concerned as to why the stomach and bowels looked distended (compared to my small baby). I couldn't help but ask whether this was something that would cause me to be induced that day (yes, I packed my bag last week in expectation of someone, sometime, sending me straight to L&D). Thankfully the answer was no, but she recommended that we consider doing the MRI. It wasn't a "you must do this so that we know what we are dealing with" sort of thing, but more of a "this will tell us what is going on".
The MRI was uneventful and I heard back on Thursday evening that everything looks normal. The baby's head is small but normal. The stomach and bowels are normal. I just have small babies. I didn't realize until I got that call how stressed I was about all this.
At my weekly appointment with my OB on Friday, she agreed to clear me to leave work. I will work tomorrow and maybe Tuesday to finish up a few things and then I will be off to rest and start getting ready for the baby. I have twice weekly appointments now - one at the hospital for NST, doppler, and fluid, and one with my OB for urine, BP, measurements, etc. I now live three or four days at a time, waiting for a shoe to drop and to be told to head to L&D to be induced.
We're not yet at the end game, but I do feel like the end is near. I would be thrilled to make it to 36 weeks which would put me into familiar territory in terms of fetal development and NICU expectations, but that's still so far away and so much could happen during those two weeks, so I just hope to clear tomorrow's appointment at the hospital.
One day at a time. It seems like this little mantra has helped me through so many different phases of this journey.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Trading one worry for another
Today I am 29 weeks 3 days. The anxiety that I felt leading in to viability has subsided, although I did find myself googling "29 week old preemies" last night after some intestinal distress yesterday.
I had a growth scan almost two weeks ago. At first everything seemed great. The baby measured on the smaller side, but still in the normal range (30th percentile overall), which is not unusual for me, but her head was small. The doctor came in to confirm the tech's measurements and confirmed that everything looked good...but then out of nowhere, she asked me if anyone had suggested that I do a fetal MRI to confirm that everything is okay with the baby's brain. Say what?!
It turns out that the head circumference was measuring 2 1/2 weeks behind and she thought it would be best "for peace of mind" to do an MRI with my next scan to confirm that the brain looks normal. Initially I was totally against it because if there is a problem, there is really nothing that can be done (and the thought of being in a long metal tube scared me), but as we talked more, it seemed to make more sense. First, we would get an answer as to whether everything is okay. Second, it's better to do it now while the baby is in utero since if a scan was needed after birth, she would need to be put under anesthesia. That's certainly not something I want.
So I agreed and received confirmation yesterday that my appointment is two weeks from today for an ultrasound first thing in the morning followed by the MRI a few hours later. They suggested that I take valium to relax the baby, but I'm not exactly hot on that idea. We'll see how things pan out. My ultrasound is scheduled for 8AM, so there's no way my husband can drive me (kids need to be dropped off). They say it's voluntary so hopefully not eating for a couple of hours will keep everything quiet and still inside.
ANYWAY. That's the latest worry in this saga. I am hoping against hope to make it another 4 1/2 weeks to the 34 week milestone my OB and I targeted two years ago when we first discussed whether trying for another baby was even something worth considering. So far so good. I have been off my blood pressure medication for two weeks now and it's currently holding steady between 120s/70s and low 130s/80s.
Will post an update after that appointment....
I had a growth scan almost two weeks ago. At first everything seemed great. The baby measured on the smaller side, but still in the normal range (30th percentile overall), which is not unusual for me, but her head was small. The doctor came in to confirm the tech's measurements and confirmed that everything looked good...but then out of nowhere, she asked me if anyone had suggested that I do a fetal MRI to confirm that everything is okay with the baby's brain. Say what?!
It turns out that the head circumference was measuring 2 1/2 weeks behind and she thought it would be best "for peace of mind" to do an MRI with my next scan to confirm that the brain looks normal. Initially I was totally against it because if there is a problem, there is really nothing that can be done (and the thought of being in a long metal tube scared me), but as we talked more, it seemed to make more sense. First, we would get an answer as to whether everything is okay. Second, it's better to do it now while the baby is in utero since if a scan was needed after birth, she would need to be put under anesthesia. That's certainly not something I want.
So I agreed and received confirmation yesterday that my appointment is two weeks from today for an ultrasound first thing in the morning followed by the MRI a few hours later. They suggested that I take valium to relax the baby, but I'm not exactly hot on that idea. We'll see how things pan out. My ultrasound is scheduled for 8AM, so there's no way my husband can drive me (kids need to be dropped off). They say it's voluntary so hopefully not eating for a couple of hours will keep everything quiet and still inside.
ANYWAY. That's the latest worry in this saga. I am hoping against hope to make it another 4 1/2 weeks to the 34 week milestone my OB and I targeted two years ago when we first discussed whether trying for another baby was even something worth considering. So far so good. I have been off my blood pressure medication for two weeks now and it's currently holding steady between 120s/70s and low 130s/80s.
Will post an update after that appointment....
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Viability
I hit 24 weeks and official viability this past Sunday. It was appropriately the day after Munchkin's 6th birthday, and the day of her party, so for reasons other than pregnancy obsession, a countdown to this date has been on my radar for at least a month now.
Interestingly, the lead-in to the weekend was rough. For me, sitting on the cusp of viability was uncomfortable. I can't describe it any other way. There was some anxiety over what I considered to be a short-ish cervix as measured during my followup anatomy scan a few week ago (btw, baby was fine, as was her head size. I just don't grow large babies, or large-headed ones for that matter). And then there was just a fear that something bad would happen before this mythically magical date. I don't think that my husband has felt at ease at all about this pregnancy, so his signs of concern throw me off. For me I think I read too many PPROM stories recently because all of a sudden, my mind went crazy: "Is that an unusual amount of discharge? Could that be my mucus plug? Is that blood? No, really, is that blood? Could that be a contraction? Hmm, maybe that was a contraction. Should I continue on my run? No, I should stop and walk. But I like running. But will I regret it if I keep running? Okay, fine, cut the run short and finish by walking." Blah blah blah.
It was rather unpleasant. And I annoyed myself. I like to stay level headed and not get too emotionally charged around these sorts of things, so I was just driving myself crazy, but once I got started, it was hard to stop. Go figure.
Thankfully that all has passed and I am able to focus on other, more important things. And my body seems to be back to normal. The baby is appropriately active, I can tell that I'm not having contractions, running is fine again, and I have found something else to be stressed about (some things never change). :)
BTW, thanks for the advice on the pants. I spread a wide net and did some mall shopping in addition to online shopping ,and bought from a number of places, but in the end I liked the yoga pants from Kohl's the best (and their B.lack Friday prices were great), so everything else got sent back.
Okay, off to bed. I am fighting a cold that descended on me as soon as the crazy weekend was over. I would like to beat it asap so that I can enjoy the holiday break with as much energy as possible!
Interestingly, the lead-in to the weekend was rough. For me, sitting on the cusp of viability was uncomfortable. I can't describe it any other way. There was some anxiety over what I considered to be a short-ish cervix as measured during my followup anatomy scan a few week ago (btw, baby was fine, as was her head size. I just don't grow large babies, or large-headed ones for that matter). And then there was just a fear that something bad would happen before this mythically magical date. I don't think that my husband has felt at ease at all about this pregnancy, so his signs of concern throw me off. For me I think I read too many PPROM stories recently because all of a sudden, my mind went crazy: "Is that an unusual amount of discharge? Could that be my mucus plug? Is that blood? No, really, is that blood? Could that be a contraction? Hmm, maybe that was a contraction. Should I continue on my run? No, I should stop and walk. But I like running. But will I regret it if I keep running? Okay, fine, cut the run short and finish by walking." Blah blah blah.
It was rather unpleasant. And I annoyed myself. I like to stay level headed and not get too emotionally charged around these sorts of things, so I was just driving myself crazy, but once I got started, it was hard to stop. Go figure.
Thankfully that all has passed and I am able to focus on other, more important things. And my body seems to be back to normal. The baby is appropriately active, I can tell that I'm not having contractions, running is fine again, and I have found something else to be stressed about (some things never change). :)
BTW, thanks for the advice on the pants. I spread a wide net and did some mall shopping in addition to online shopping ,and bought from a number of places, but in the end I liked the yoga pants from Kohl's the best (and their B.lack Friday prices were great), so everything else got sent back.
Okay, off to bed. I am fighting a cold that descended on me as soon as the crazy weekend was over. I would like to beat it asap so that I can enjoy the holiday break with as much energy as possible!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
20 Weeks
Time has been marching along. Sorry I haven't posted, but I really haven't had much to say. This has always been an infertility blog for me, so posting pregnancy related news, or non-news, seems foreign.
Since I hit 20 weeks, I thought I would post an update for anyone who still follows along. I had thought about a 12 week, 14 week, 16 week and 18 week update, but I guess they just never happened.
Things have been relatively uneventful. When I wrote a few months ago, I had just completed a mild bleeding episode. And that was the last of the blood. For the most part, my toilet paper inspections have yielded nothing out of the ordinary.
In early October my kids came down with slapc.heek, also called Fif.th's Disease. It's a common virus among children where their cheeks look bright bright red and my kids also got rashes on their arms and legs. For those of you who have dogs, it's also parvovirus (I thought, "great, my kids caught a virus that I vaccinate my dog against!"). Anyway, apparently this virus is cause for concern if you're pregnant because it can impact something relating to blood with the baby, potentially requiring a blood transfusion to the fetus. Sounds scary, but didn't seem to be that big a deal because it's common to get when you're a kid and then you're immune. My first blood test indicated that I have never been exposed, so I had a follow up test a few weeks ago which also showed that I hadn't been exposed. Thank goodness. I believe my OB's words were, "I've never had a patient with this condition, and I don't want you to be the first." No kidding.
Running is still great. I usually run 3 1/2 to 4 miles a day, 5-7 days a week, and when I have more time or rest, I'll go 5 or 6, but it's not that often because I can get pretty tired later in the day. I don't know how long I will be able to keep this up for, so I will enjoy it while I can. All my pregnancies have been at different times of the year (December, August, and now April due dates), and I've never been visibly pregnant and running during the cold season, so I don't have any running pants. I've tried some yoga pants, but haven't found anything good. For now my normal running pants are very old and stretched out, so I can still wear them and not care if I ruin them, but my Nike capris (with nice wide waist bands) are getting rather tight. And I'm too cheap to go spend a bunch of money on something I may only wear for two months. Must find cheap yoga pants that can double as running pants while I can still run, or lounge/walking pants when I'm done. Please pass on any advice. :)
Lastly, I had my anatomy scan this morning. The baby was confirmed to be a girl, which is cool but scary (OMG, 3 girls!), but then again, I would be scared with a boy too (they're so squirty!). At my NT scan in September, the doctor got a good shot and predicted girl (70% certainty), so it wasn't a surprise, but it was nice to be confirmed.
The baby's head is measuring small - maybe by about a week, so still within the normal range - but I need to go back in a couple of weeks to make sure that she just has a small head and doesn't have any developmental issues. This pregnancy is keeping me on my toes. I am trying to locate my ultrasound reports from my other children to see where they measured, but I guess the best thing to do is just wait and see. The doctor didn't seem concerned, but just wanted to confirm.
Anyway, that's about it for now. I do want to write at some point about the commercialization of infertility clinics. One clinic has a lot of commercials on the news station that I list to, and I thought, "well, of course, they are a private clinic", but then one morning I turned on the TV to check on the status of a local transit strike and saw that my clinic (which is affiliated with the local university) was sponsoring the news ticker! I guess there's a lot of competition for patients, especially when insurance isn't involved, but it just surprised me since I always considered my time at the clinic to be very private, personal and confidential (not that advertising made any difference in the way they treat you).
Work is beckoning, so I will sign off. I hope all is well with everyone. I do still read, but don't comment as often. That's mostly due to the fact that I've had to increase my sleep!
Since I hit 20 weeks, I thought I would post an update for anyone who still follows along. I had thought about a 12 week, 14 week, 16 week and 18 week update, but I guess they just never happened.
Things have been relatively uneventful. When I wrote a few months ago, I had just completed a mild bleeding episode. And that was the last of the blood. For the most part, my toilet paper inspections have yielded nothing out of the ordinary.
In early October my kids came down with slapc.heek, also called Fif.th's Disease. It's a common virus among children where their cheeks look bright bright red and my kids also got rashes on their arms and legs. For those of you who have dogs, it's also parvovirus (I thought, "great, my kids caught a virus that I vaccinate my dog against!"). Anyway, apparently this virus is cause for concern if you're pregnant because it can impact something relating to blood with the baby, potentially requiring a blood transfusion to the fetus. Sounds scary, but didn't seem to be that big a deal because it's common to get when you're a kid and then you're immune. My first blood test indicated that I have never been exposed, so I had a follow up test a few weeks ago which also showed that I hadn't been exposed. Thank goodness. I believe my OB's words were, "I've never had a patient with this condition, and I don't want you to be the first." No kidding.
Running is still great. I usually run 3 1/2 to 4 miles a day, 5-7 days a week, and when I have more time or rest, I'll go 5 or 6, but it's not that often because I can get pretty tired later in the day. I don't know how long I will be able to keep this up for, so I will enjoy it while I can. All my pregnancies have been at different times of the year (December, August, and now April due dates), and I've never been visibly pregnant and running during the cold season, so I don't have any running pants. I've tried some yoga pants, but haven't found anything good. For now my normal running pants are very old and stretched out, so I can still wear them and not care if I ruin them, but my Nike capris (with nice wide waist bands) are getting rather tight. And I'm too cheap to go spend a bunch of money on something I may only wear for two months. Must find cheap yoga pants that can double as running pants while I can still run, or lounge/walking pants when I'm done. Please pass on any advice. :)
Lastly, I had my anatomy scan this morning. The baby was confirmed to be a girl, which is cool but scary (OMG, 3 girls!), but then again, I would be scared with a boy too (they're so squirty!). At my NT scan in September, the doctor got a good shot and predicted girl (70% certainty), so it wasn't a surprise, but it was nice to be confirmed.
The baby's head is measuring small - maybe by about a week, so still within the normal range - but I need to go back in a couple of weeks to make sure that she just has a small head and doesn't have any developmental issues. This pregnancy is keeping me on my toes. I am trying to locate my ultrasound reports from my other children to see where they measured, but I guess the best thing to do is just wait and see. The doctor didn't seem concerned, but just wanted to confirm.
Anyway, that's about it for now. I do want to write at some point about the commercialization of infertility clinics. One clinic has a lot of commercials on the news station that I list to, and I thought, "well, of course, they are a private clinic", but then one morning I turned on the TV to check on the status of a local transit strike and saw that my clinic (which is affiliated with the local university) was sponsoring the news ticker! I guess there's a lot of competition for patients, especially when insurance isn't involved, but it just surprised me since I always considered my time at the clinic to be very private, personal and confidential (not that advertising made any difference in the way they treat you).
Work is beckoning, so I will sign off. I hope all is well with everyone. I do still read, but don't comment as often. That's mostly due to the fact that I've had to increase my sleep!
Saturday, September 14, 2013
And then it stopped...for now
It's one day at a time over here...again! The bleeding episode ended as quickly as it started and I am very thankful for that. I took it easy and only went for a walk Wednesday and Thursday, and resumed running yesterday and today. So far there have been no ill effects.
However, I have to say that the bleeding has definitely put us on edge. I will be 11 weeks tomorrow and I have only told two people: one friend who called a couple of weeks ago and asked whether we were still considering another child (crazily, I told the WHOLE story. It's so unlike me, but then again, she's a friend that I've known since first grade, so if there's anyone I can trust, it's someone I've known for 34 years.). The second person was a designer who came in the other day to give us some ideas on our house. We currently are poorly set up for a family of 5, so I thought it was important that he know why our goals are what they are.
I have an appointment with my OB a week from Monday, so maybe I'll feel more comfortable then, or perhaps I will wait until the end of that week when I have my NT scan. I wish I could tell my parents, but it's just not time. For now, I will continue to suck in my stomach whenever I see them.
I just can't get over the idea that it's entirely possible that the baby has died, but my body hasn't realized it yet. So for now, I stay quiet, hope for the best, and try to hold off on moving up my appointment for next Monday!
However, I have to say that the bleeding has definitely put us on edge. I will be 11 weeks tomorrow and I have only told two people: one friend who called a couple of weeks ago and asked whether we were still considering another child (crazily, I told the WHOLE story. It's so unlike me, but then again, she's a friend that I've known since first grade, so if there's anyone I can trust, it's someone I've known for 34 years.). The second person was a designer who came in the other day to give us some ideas on our house. We currently are poorly set up for a family of 5, so I thought it was important that he know why our goals are what they are.
I have an appointment with my OB a week from Monday, so maybe I'll feel more comfortable then, or perhaps I will wait until the end of that week when I have my NT scan. I wish I could tell my parents, but it's just not time. For now, I will continue to suck in my stomach whenever I see them.
I just can't get over the idea that it's entirely possible that the baby has died, but my body hasn't realized it yet. So for now, I stay quiet, hope for the best, and try to hold off on moving up my appointment for next Monday!
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Updates
I have been meaning to update for quite some time now, but I find myself needing more sleep and falling asleep before I have the chance to turn my computer back on.
Anyway, I had my two 8 week appointments almost two weeks ago. They were both good. The embryo and the sac both measured on track and the heartbeat looked good. At my new OB appointment, my OB did notice a sub-chorionic hematoma and said that I might have some bleeding.
True to her word, I started having some bleeding if you could call it that. I don't even know how to describe it other than a slow leak, maybe? It went away last Wednesday, which was a relief, but it returned for real tonight. I don't have any cramping, so we'll see what happens. I just hope it's the SCH doing it's thing. We'll see what happens, but for now I think exercise is off limits for two weeks. Not having that stress relief may be the hardest part....
My OB also ordered all sorts of tests. I am in the middle of a 24 hour urine sample (yes, it's as gross at it sounds) and I have to do a one hour glucose screening asap (yes, it's early for this!) in addition to the standard first trimester bloodwork. I think she's looking to gather baseline information in case things start to change later in the pregnancy.
I need to turn in my jug-o-pee tomorrow at the lab which is in the same suite as her office, so I might try to see if she can sneak me in for a quick ultrasound or doppler check (can you locate a heartbeat via doppler at 10 1/2 weeks?
Before I got my little surprise a little while ago, I was expecting this update to be a whole lot of nothing. I hope it turns out that this bleeding episode really is a whole lot of nothing.
Anyway, I had my two 8 week appointments almost two weeks ago. They were both good. The embryo and the sac both measured on track and the heartbeat looked good. At my new OB appointment, my OB did notice a sub-chorionic hematoma and said that I might have some bleeding.
True to her word, I started having some bleeding if you could call it that. I don't even know how to describe it other than a slow leak, maybe? It went away last Wednesday, which was a relief, but it returned for real tonight. I don't have any cramping, so we'll see what happens. I just hope it's the SCH doing it's thing. We'll see what happens, but for now I think exercise is off limits for two weeks. Not having that stress relief may be the hardest part....
My OB also ordered all sorts of tests. I am in the middle of a 24 hour urine sample (yes, it's as gross at it sounds) and I have to do a one hour glucose screening asap (yes, it's early for this!) in addition to the standard first trimester bloodwork. I think she's looking to gather baseline information in case things start to change later in the pregnancy.
I need to turn in my jug-o-pee tomorrow at the lab which is in the same suite as her office, so I might try to see if she can sneak me in for a quick ultrasound or doppler check (can you locate a heartbeat via doppler at 10 1/2 weeks?
Before I got my little surprise a little while ago, I was expecting this update to be a whole lot of nothing. I hope it turns out that this bleeding episode really is a whole lot of nothing.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
All Cleared Up
Sorry for the radio silence.... The spotting that I had right after my 6 week ultrasound cleared up within a day. I never called the clinic because I didn't think that a day of spotting was something that I would want to go in for. The other option for advice would have been to wait and see...something I was planning on doing already.
So here I am today assuming that I am 8 weeks pregnant. It was right around this point in my last pregnancy that my embryo died. Thankfully, I have a fair number of symptoms that are lobbying for me to be convinced that this pregnancy is progressing normally. But still...I've been thinking about it a lot, especially since I had been convinced I would have the baby this weekend, even though it was a month before the due date.
So anyway, I have my intended "graduation" appointment with my RE on Wednesday, and then an appointment with my OB on Thursday. I had to do some appointment juggling because I do not want a repeat of last time. If this pregnancy is not meant to be, I want to find out at my RE's office. After all, who wants to have two appointments that will confirm that there is no heartbeat? Not me.
Plus, I need Thursday to include a good strategic conversation to see if there's anything I can do differently to advance this pregnancy to full term. I hope it's not a matter of "let's do more ultrasounds". That's seems so passive, but maybe it's the only path to take? It makes me wonder if an appointment with a perinatologist would have any value.
But I get ahead of myself. I'll work through this after Wednesday. I'd like to do something, but I am not good with coming up with meaningful gifts. Any ideas? Ironically, Wednesday marks four years since my first consultation with my RE. We obviously had a long break between my graduation with mini-Munchkin and the beginning of this journey for #3, but still, it's been a long time. And the battle for #3 has certainly required confidence in the plan and trust in my doctor. I respect her so much and have valued her advice and the fact that she was always able to back everything up with data.
I will miss her, but am not sad to be moving on!
So here I am today assuming that I am 8 weeks pregnant. It was right around this point in my last pregnancy that my embryo died. Thankfully, I have a fair number of symptoms that are lobbying for me to be convinced that this pregnancy is progressing normally. But still...I've been thinking about it a lot, especially since I had been convinced I would have the baby this weekend, even though it was a month before the due date.
So anyway, I have my intended "graduation" appointment with my RE on Wednesday, and then an appointment with my OB on Thursday. I had to do some appointment juggling because I do not want a repeat of last time. If this pregnancy is not meant to be, I want to find out at my RE's office. After all, who wants to have two appointments that will confirm that there is no heartbeat? Not me.
Plus, I need Thursday to include a good strategic conversation to see if there's anything I can do differently to advance this pregnancy to full term. I hope it's not a matter of "let's do more ultrasounds". That's seems so passive, but maybe it's the only path to take? It makes me wonder if an appointment with a perinatologist would have any value.
But I get ahead of myself. I'll work through this after Wednesday. I'd like to do something, but I am not good with coming up with meaningful gifts. Any ideas? Ironically, Wednesday marks four years since my first consultation with my RE. We obviously had a long break between my graduation with mini-Munchkin and the beginning of this journey for #3, but still, it's been a long time. And the battle for #3 has certainly required confidence in the plan and trust in my doctor. I respect her so much and have valued her advice and the fact that she was always able to back everything up with data.
I will miss her, but am not sad to be moving on!
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