Hope and Fear

And then there were two.  Of the seven embryos that were biopsied, two are normal.  Once again, I feel like my decision to do PGD has been rewarded.  Four of the seven embryos looked really good, but only two of them were good.  I have been rewarded with two opportunities where I know I could get pregnant.  Will it work?

The info on the two good ones is this: one is graded 5AA and one is 5BB.  They are both the same gender, but I didn't ask which.

I am filled with hope.  And fear.  And relief.  And disappointment.  And anxiety.  And happiness.  And stress.  And more relief.  The emotional rollercoaster is back.  I guess you could say that I have reconnected.  I am all in.

Two. So there are two.  Two is good , and two is scary.  Two would be more scary if I weren't doing a single embryo transfer, because then I would have one chance.  Yes, all I need is one normal embryo to stick (and stay stuck).  But it's hard.  I feel a lot of pressure for this to work.  I know there are a few of you out there gearing up for your last chance, and I've been thinking about you a lot...the decisions for where to cycle, the gearing up for the final FET.  There is a lot at stake.

That was my commercial interruption.  I now go back to waiting.  It's likely to be a month or more.  Last time I ovulated around day 28, and this could be even longer since my body seemed to be more taxed by the cycle.  Thankfully many of you have exciting milestones coming up, and I am more than happy to cheer you on while I wait.