Not much has changed over my lifetime. I don't like to ask for help. I like to let my body take care of itself. And I prefer to not take medication.
When I starting TTC many years ago, it took me more than 15 months before I got up the nerve to schedule an appointment with an OB/GYN and ask for help. I didn't like the idea of taking medicine that could turn me into a raving bitch (thankfully that didn't happen until I met Lupron). It just seemed unnatural, but what could I do? I wanted a baby...and it wasn't happening.
Fast-forward almost 8 years. I have been around the infertility block a few times...and I find my viewpoint shifting. I have accepted that I need help and in many ways have swung to the other end of the spectrum where I feel more comfortable with help. I don't expect my body to be able to work on its own. I was a bit of a leap of faith when I agreed to do a natural cycle for my FET.
I had a monitoring appointment last Friday, CD12. Per the instructions for this cycle, I used an OPK that morning. It was positive. I couldn't decide if I was happy or not. My body appeared to be working, but could I count on my body to ovulate on time? And what if it wasn't a strong ovulation? I don't want to waste an embryo. Did I make a mistake by going natural?
I then dutifully tested again. The instructions I was given said to test with SMU. This one was negative. Well, crap. I had no idea where that left me.
At my appointment, we found good lining, one good-sized follicle, and blood test revealed that my LH was relatively low, so I was directed give myself the HCG injection. I felt such a sense of relief. I didn't realize how much I had grown to lean on these fertility drugs, but I can't tell you how happy I was to "have" to take the medication to direct my body to ovulate.
Transfer is set for Friday morning. I am excited. I hope this turns out better than last time.
You and I are similar in ways. I've always hated taking medications that I see as unnecessary. However, when I started my IF journey, I knew from the beginning that my body wasn't working correctly and wanted medications to fix that. I had missed periods for 4, almost 5 months and was immediately diagnosed with PCOS as soon as my doctor saw me. I had done my research and knew about drugs like Clomid, but my doctor took on the more "natural" approach and prescribed me Metformin and a diet change to see if my body would fix itself. Now, almost a year later, I seem to be ovulating on my own which is great, but I still don't trust my body. I wish I had the reassurance of medications to know that my body is actually doing what it seems to be doing.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited for your transfer on Friday as well. I'm sending good thoughts and crossed fingers your way!
(Sorry for the novel of a comment, by the way.)
Look forward to hearing how your transfer goes!
ReplyDeleteShelley...you've been through so much. I'll be thinking about you and hoping this FET works. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteOK don't like to take mess either, but for some reason I have overlooked that throughout this IF treatment process. I guess there are just some things we want more than keeping it natural. I'm so glad this natural cycle worked for you, but that you had the safety of the trigger shot.
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