Spotting

Thanks for the advice on the leftover meds.  I'm still not sure what to do.  My desire is to give them to someone whose insurance doesn't cover meds and to save them a few/several hundred bucks.  My latest thought is to contact a few local bloggers who I follow and see if they have any contacts who might need them.  If not, I might just go ahead and donate them to the "learn how to become a junkie" class.

Anyway, all still seems to be mostly well.  I woke up this morning to a bit of brown spotting and saw it again a little while ago in conjunction with some mild cramping.  I checked my log from my first pregnancy and discovered that I also experienced some spotting for a day during my 8th week, so hopefully it's nothing to worry about.  If it gets worse or is still here tomorrow, I'll call the clinic, but other than to get some reassurance from an ultrasound, I really don't think there's anything they can do for me at this stage of the game.

Sorry I've been an absent commenter.  My husband was out of town at the beginning of the week and I was (shockingly!) too tired to turn on my computer after my parenting duties were done for the night!

What to do with the leftovers?

Now that I've seen some evidence that this pregnancy is progressing, I'm allowing myself to start thinking about what to do with my leftover meds.  I have an unopened cartridge of Folli.stim, an unopened Ovi.drel syringe (because I didn't trigger last month), and a box of the Endo.metrin suppositories.

When I spoke with one of the nurses at my clinic, she told me that I could donate the Foll.istim and Ovi.drel for one of their injection classes, but that they cannot accept a donation of the meds to redistribute.  Understood.  I'm all for helping people learn to give themselves injections, but I've read enough blogs to know that there are a lot of people out there who are strapped to pay for their treatment and it would be really great to help someone out.

I asked my doctor about this at my appointment yesterday and she said that she can't take it back but that some people have gone on the internet to find someone to give their medication to.  My only concern is that I think it's illegal to give prescription medication to someone else and I'm not sure how much I want to advertise this.

Unfortunately, I don't know anyone personally who is currently undergoing treatment, and the few posts I've seen about this on the local parents' group have received no responses.

Do any of you have any thoughts on this?

Ultrasound

I just got back from the doctor and everything looks good.  We saw a heartbeat and the baby measured at 6 weeks 2 days, which is a day or two behind.  Next up: follow up ultrasound in two weeks, and then I go back to my OB.

Let it go

Okay, so yesterday I was all proud of myself for taking accountability for myself and how I think, blah blah blah.  Of course it would be the same day that I was patting myself on the back for a job well done when I got angry and hurt over something one of my friends said.

A few of my friends (ones that know we've been trying to get pregnant since last spring) are interested in heading up to the snow for some sledding with their kids.  Since we went up last week, I emailed out a quick report about where we went, etc.  Friend M wanted to know whether we were planning on sledding or snowboarding, so I replied that we were only planning on sledding (our daughter is too young for the slopes).  Then Friend A sent me an email asking if there was a hidden meaning *wink* *wink* to my email saying that I was only planning on going sledding.

There was NO hidden meaning.  Okay, yes, I'm pregnant, but wow, it really offended me that she would ask so coyly whether I am pregnant.  She knows we've been trying with help for several months.  And I haven't talked to her much about this, so maybe she doesn't know details about the treatments, but still I would expect her to understand that the process can be very painful and frustrating while you're going through it. And if you want to find out what's going on, this is NOT the way to do it. 

What bothers me the most is that I just couldn't let it go.  I replied to the email with a clipped "What? No." response, but I could not stop thinking about what she said.

So why am I so sensitive about this?  I really want to know.  I realize that I am totally overreacting, but it's obviously still bothering me if I'm writing about it a day later.  When I found out I was pregnant, a big weight was lifted off my shoulders and I thought I would easily merge into the land of the normal fertile population.  My focus shifted a bit and I set my sights on the upcoming ultrasounds.  But this...this threw me for a loop.  Why would it bother me so much that someone I've known for 18 years makes an innocent (and hopeful) comment?

Ugh, sounds like it's time for some introspection.

Happy New Year

Okay, I'm a few days late, but since work doesn't start until tomorrow, I feel like I can do a quick new year post. 

I wasn't going to do any 2009 reflections but when I was reading the posts over the past couple of days, it caused me to spend a few minutes to take stock of 2009. 

It's kind of funny because the first thing that jumps to mind is obviously fertility related, but I'll let that go because there's so much more to life than that.  And I'm not just saying that because my hail mary cycle was successful.  When I look back, I think the thing that I want to hold on to is the conscious decision I made a few weeks ago to take accountability for myself and not let my life be dictated by these treatments.  I need to be balanced and live my life such that I won't look back and regret any decisions I made.  This is something that I can use forever.

Anyway, that's all the reflecting I'll do for now.  After all, there are 101 things I need to take care of before I head back to the office tomorrow.  BOO!

Update

Hi, I just wanted to give a quick Christmas update....

We drove up to see the in laws on Christmas Eve, but didn't stay over night as we have in the past.  I was so excited not to have to travel at all on Christmas day!  We had a good time visiting with everyone, but sadly we had to rush to hit the road because I was trying to make the 10PM Mass at home.  It looks like I still need to work out some kinks with this new schedule!

During dinner I successfully endured the expected "When are you going to have another kid" question, but I just gave my standard fake "leave me alone" smile and turned the situation over to my husband to deal with.  Luckily, it dissipated rather quickly and no one noticed that I was fake drinking my wine.  I know it's lame to do that, but it felt good to put any lingering pregnancy questions to rest. ;) 

We spent Christmas day with my family, which was great, but it was different from any other year because my grandfather has been recovering from hip surgery the last few weeks.  My aunt has been here from Texas for almost two weeks, my uncle flew out Christmas morning, and my mom had to bolt from breakfast pretty early to go spend time with my grandfather.  Thankfully we all got to visit my grandfather and eventually made it to my parents' house for a staggered dinner.  My brother took over my grandfather's job of making mai-tais, so everyone had a good time.  No one seemed to suspect anything out of the norm for me since I rarely drink.  And no one was staring at my midsection, so I guess all the fears that my stomach is sticking out excessively were unfounded (or I did a REALLY good job of sucking in my stomach whenever someone looked at me!).

Anyway, we're both off work this week and are heading up to the snow for a couple of days with Munchkin and our younger dog.  We had hoped to get away for a few days, but had put off making any reservations because we expected to be stimming and weren't sure when we would need to be in town.  It's such a nice surprise to be able to work around our own schedules for once!

On the pregnancy front, there's not a whole lot going on, but it's only been a week.  I'm still temping and will probably continue at least until the first ultrasound.  If anything happens to go wrong, I want to see it coming, so I'll continue to check for a bit to make sure that my temps stay high.  I generally feel fine with the occasional cramps/pit in the stomach feeling.  My boobs are bigger, but not tender, so no need double up on the jog bras just yet.  And I was pretty hungry last week and had to made a couple middle of the night trips to the fruit basket so I could get back to sleep.

All in all, there's nothing exciting to report really, but for once, that's a good thing.  Happy almost new year!  I hope 2010 is a good one for everyone.

Merry Christmas!

For those of you celebrating, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and get to enjoy a wonderful day with family and friends.

(I also hope you don't get asked the obligatory "when are you going to have a baby" question from unsuspecting family members!)