I've been struggling the past several days. Not depressed, but just a little off inside.
This break between cycles is just painful. I never imagined that the last 4 1/2 months of 2012 would consist of one cycle in which I could get pregnant. Even though IUIs involved disappointment month after month, it was much more comfortable for me to have a possibility that it would work that month.
I guess one cycle in 4+ months wouldn't have been a problem if I had gotten pregnant from the fresh cycle, but here I am resigned to the very likely possibility that AF won't come in the next 7 days and I will be out of luck for the rest of the year.
The clock is ticking away. It's not in my favor and there's nothing I can do about it. I am so frustrated. If AF doesn't come on time, I'll still try to get on Clomid, but I'm looking at <5 a="a" chance.="chance." doesn="doesn" hat="hat" hope="hope" inspire="inspire" lot="lot" nbsp="nbsp" of="of" p="p" t="t">
And there's the nagging question of why I can't get pregnant. Was it just a fluke that the perfect little embryo we transferred didn't implant? Or is there something else that I don't know about? Is it worth it to keep trying? I think yes, but then I second guess that.
Sigh.
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I'm sorry you're struggling. We had to put off IVF for four months because of insurance issues and work travel, and it did start to drive me crazy. We saw my RE in February, had a lap to remove an endometrioma in April, and then were stuck until the end of September. It gives you too much time to think and to wonder.
ReplyDeleteI think it had to be a fluke. If you'd never had a successful pregnancy before, that would be one thing (and even then, it could still be a fluke), but the fact that you did makes me think it was bad luck - or at least not something wrong with you that would prevent a good embryo from implanting in the future. I cant remember if you have one or two frozen, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your frozen cycle works and that you don't have to worry about whether to pursue treatment after that.